It is important for scientists to be aware of what our discoveries mean, socially and politically. It’s a noble goal that science should be apolitical, acultural, and asocial, but it can’t be, because it’s done by people who are all those things.
The Correct Thing in Good Society, by the Author of “Social Customs,” 1888
Here’s what it really comes down to: people’s feelings of being neglected or ignored or treated rudely when a friend checks their phone are real and valid. I’m absolutely not here to say that those feelings are wrong. I am here to say two things: 1) it might be worth considering other possible ways to interpret someone’s phone-checking, and 2) even if you still think it’s rude and wrong, maybe you should hang out with people who feel the way you do, and I should hang out with people who feel the way I do.
Cuz the thing is, there are a lot of things I find rude that other people don’t seem to, such as being given unsolicited advice, having people try to psychoanalyze me, and being touched without my permission. I am welcome to make the case that these things are rude (as I often have), and others are welcome to tell me that they will continue doing so anyway, and then I am welcome to stop spending time with these people, and they are not welcome to try to guilt me into spending time with them anyway.
The wonderful thing about having so many great friends who understand the way I communicate is that I get to carve out a social space that operates by the rules we prefer. Some rules that other people have, we do not: for instance, the rule that checking your phone in front of people is wrong and that talking about one’s mental health problems is generally inappropriate and that sex is something to be kept private. Other rules we have are ones that other people don’t: for instance, that you should ask before giving someone a hug or otherwise touching them, and that you should communicate as clearly as possible rather than playing mind games or expecting people to guess your feelings.
Some people don’t want to play by these rules and they don’t like the fact that we don’t play by their rules. That’s okay.
I just discovered this really awesome site. Emotionalbagcheck.com
It’s a site that lets you leave the things that are bothering you anonymously.
When someone chooses to “carry your baggage" they’ll get your submission, and send a song and a personal note to your email address through the site (it’s never shown publicly) that may help you with what you’re going through.
I think this is an amazing idea!
Don’t keep scrolling past this cause it’s actually worth checking out! :)
The link above does not seem to be working, but this link directs you to what appears to be the same site: Emotional Baggage Check.
Horse? Dog? My inner self?
SO MUCH EXISTENTIAL ANGST
~check out my photoblag~
Grate. Juuuuust grate. — Oh Myyy http://ift.tt/1eNYgBw
It is my guiding thesis that people who claim a serious interest in America but consider racism to be a niche topic are divided against themselves. You can’t understand American politics, without understanding the Civil War. You can’t understand the suburbs, without understanding redlining. You can’t understand the constitution, without understanding slavery. In effect if you are an American who avoids understanding the force of racism, you are avoiding an understanding of yourself and your country.
Perhaps you are even avoiding something more.
This is the best.
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